i love the Women Against Feminism that are like “I dont need feminism because i can admit i need my husband to open a jar for me and thats ok!” cause listen 1. get a towel 2. get the towel damp 3. put it on the lid and twist. BAM now men are completely useless. you, too, can open a jar. time to get a divorce
You can also use a knife wedged gently under the lid and pushed against the jar to release the seal. Boom, it’ll open easy as pie and no man required.
in what fucking situation do you ever need this picture for
i will piss on your sofa
do you ever feel like there’s just so many pretty girls but most dudes are just subpar like there are radiant goddesses everywhere and just piles and piles of guys in backwards baseball caps and sandals
it’s called makeup
you can put eyeliner on a frat boy that doesn’t change the fact that’s he’s wearing a neon muscle shirt and nike flip flops
So today as a prank I made a sheet music print out of Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball but replaced the name with “Christmas Time Meditation” and deleted the words and I’m going to put it in the with church music and see if the pianist notices.
He noticed and I can now add “Yelled at by two priests at once” to my list of accomplishments
a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?
omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that